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Srsly, tho, it’s kinda sad too. Some of these girls, they’re, like, stuck. Makes me wanna cry, ‘cause I’m extra like that. I’m all, “U deserve better, hun!” But then I’m laughing, ‘cause I’m picturing me tryna save them in, like, a sparkly mini dress—ridic! Anyway, if u ever need to find a prostitute, just, like, look for the vibe. They’re out there, lowkey slaying. “It’s not about the destination,” like in *Boyhood*—it’s the messy journey, boo! Ttyl, xoxo!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” But it’s Parcul Central, the one with the fountain. I’m like, “Fine, I need a break.”

Devastation, Death As Heaviest Rains In Decades Batter Central, Eastern Europe