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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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Then, I decided to stroll by the Dniester River. It’s beautiful there, especially when the sun’s out. I sat on a bench, munching on my pastries, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playing soccer. They’re loud, like, really loud. I’m trying to enjoy my moment, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid almost hit me! I was like, “Dude, chill!”

The sustainable development potential of 15 towns from both banks of the Nistru river was analyzed