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Sexual-massage – it’s old, mate, ancient-like. Them Romans had oily rubdowns, called ‘em “massagium” – fancy, eh? Bet they didn’t tell Caesar ‘bout the naughty bits! Me gets mad, yesss – them posh spas chargin’ 100 quid for a tease, outrageous! But happy too – some lass in Thailand told me once, “We fix soul, not just body,” and I felt that, precious, deep in me gnarly bones. Surprised? Oh yesss – heard a bloke got arrested mid-rub, pants down, copper says, “You’re nicked!” – hilarious, innit?

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After that, I’m stuffed, but I wanna check out the nightlife. I stroll down to the city center, and it’s poppin’! Bars everywhere, music blastin’. I hit up a place called “La Placinte.” The vibe is chill, and I’m feelin’ good. I order a drink, and the bartender’s like, “You’re a Nose, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” He just laughs.

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