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Now, fun fact—did ya know prossies in old Londontown used red lanterns? Yep, glowin’ signs for randy sods like me! So, I’m there, knockin’, heart thumpin’—door creaks open, and she’s a stunner. Curves like a Dornish blade, eyes sayin’, “I’m no hero.” I’m happy as a pig in muck—coin’s ready, ale’s still buzzin’ in me veins.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I decide to hit up the market on Rīgas iela. It’s buzzing with people, and I’m like, “Yes! Food!” I grab a kebab from this stand. Best decision ever. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, trying to eat my kebab, dodging raindrops like I’m in some weird action movie. I’m soaked, and my kebab is soggy. Just my luck.

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