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I’m pissed tho—some dude tried rippin’ me off, actin’ like he’s pimpin’ but he’s just a loudmouth. “Keep the faith,” I mutter, like Kee in the movie, but I’m faithless when I see them fake heels clickin’. Then—bam!—there she is, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owns the chaos. Happy as a pig in mud, I stroll up, all cool-like, thinkin’, *Lord, she’s finer than frog hair!* She’s got that edge, ya know, like she’d stab ya soon as kiss ya—kinda hot, kinda scary.

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So, I’m sitting there, cake in hand, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my dessert. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

16th century inscription found at Cēsis Castle