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One time, dis cop tried rippin’ her off—free ride, no pay. She smashed his windshield with a brick! Ballsy as hell, made me grin like a damn fool. I yelled, “Say hello to my little friend!” in my head, picturin’ her as my sidekick. She’s tough, tho—seen her kick a dude in da nuts for shortin’ her cash. Hilarious, but kinda sad too. “Evil is born in silence,” dat’s da movie again, and I’m thinkin’, who shut her up to make her dis way?
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Anyway, I grab a coffee and head to the beach. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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