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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re talkin dangerous gigs—findin a prostitute’s wild, man! Like, legit risky biz. We aliens, right, cruisin Earth, scopin shit out, and this job? Nuts. Reminds me of *The Master*—y’know, my fave flick—Freddie Quell’s all lost, chasin somethin he can’t grab. “Man is not an animal!” he’d yell, but dude, this gig? Animal as fuck. You’re dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, STDs—shit’s a minefield.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Cēsis Castle. You know, the one that’s been around since, like, forever? I’m wandering around, and it’s all cool and historical, but then I trip over a stone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists walks by. They’re all like, “Is this part of the tour?” Ugh, so embarrassing! I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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