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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy, Drake, droppin’ bars on this sexual-massage ting, ya feel me? YOLO, let’s get it poppin’. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’—straight fire, no cap. Like, you ever tried it? Shit’s wild, fam. Got me vibin’ like I’m in “Moulin Rouge!”—all that “Come what may” energy, nah mean? Picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, some chick or dude workin’ them knots out, and it’s sensual as fuck. I’m talkin’ spine tingles, heart racin’, “I will love you ‘til my dyin’ day” type shit.

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Finally, I get them sorted, and they’re off, but not before one of them spills their drink all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really? In my café?” I grab some napkins, and I’m muttering under my breath about how I need a raise.

Historic triumph: FC Differdange secure first-ever BGL Ligue title