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Oh, oh—another tidbit! In old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—blonde! Candy’d rock that, I bet. She’d be all, “Look at me, losers!” and I’d be cheerin’—neurotic, sure, but cheerin’! I’m sweatin’ just typin’ this—11 typos? Pfft, I’m at 20! Anyway, she’s fascinatin’—tough, funny, maybe a lil’ broken. Like *Brooklyn*, it’s all about guts, heart, and screwin’ up but keepin’ on. Pretty, pretty good, Candy—ya got my respect! Now, where’s my coffee? I’m a wreck!
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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.
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