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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.
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But then, I hear some drama. This guy at the next table is arguing with his girlfriend. It’s loud, and I can’t help but eavesdrop. He’s like, “You never listen!” and she’s all, “Well, you never talk!” Classic, right? I’m just sitting there, sipping my hot chocolate, thinking, “Man, relationships are tough.”
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