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I’m ragin’—why? Cos it’s 2025 and blokes still stumble round like headless chickens lookin’ for a shag! Apps, mate—fuckin’ apps! Escorts got profiles now—swipe right for a blowie, swipe left if she’s got a face like a melted Wellington. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all dodgy alleys and “how much, love?” But nah, it’s posh now—some even take crypto! Fuckin’ mental.
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When I get there, the stone’s gone! I’m like, “No way!” I start asking around, and this kid points to a group of teenagers. They’re using it as a frisbee! I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I march over, and they’re like, “What’s this?” I’m like, “That’s my livelihood, you punks!” They just look at me, wide-eyed.
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