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I spot this bird—legs for days, smokin’ hot. I’m like, “Groovy, baby!”—she’s givin’ me the eye. I swagger over, all smooth, thinkin’, “This is my trash-compactin’ moment!”—WALL-E vibes, ya dig? She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’, but in my head? “Whoa, inflation’s a shocker!” Last time I checked—1967, mind you—it was cheaper than a pint. Surprised me, that did—nearly lost my mojo!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Max. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” Turns out, he got locked out of his apartment. Classic Max. We’re laughing about it, and I’m feeling better.

Obituary: Rebecca ‘Hayes’ Von Eschen, Oct. 21, 1955 -May 23, 2019