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About Balzers

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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Then, I get a call from my next client. Let’s call her “Miss Overthinker.” She’s in a panic about her life choices. I’m like, “Chill, you’re in Triesen! You’ve got time!” But she’s all “What if I mess up?” I’m thinking, “Girl, we all mess up!” But I keep it cool.

This Cross-Country Hike Took 5 Days. That’s Going the Long Way. (Published 2019)