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Little known fact—back in the ’60s, swingin’ London had secret parlors. Dudes in suits, chicks in miniskirts, gettin’ frisky rubs undercover. Cops didn’t dig it, but the vibe was hot! Reminds me of Daniel Plainview—oil man, ruthless cat, right? “I’ve abandoned my child!”—he’d say that, ditchin’ morals for a quick thrill. Sexual-massage got that edge, baby—dangerous, sexy, wild!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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