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About Schellenberg

So, dis one time, I heard ‘bout dis whore in Vienna—true story, swear it! She’d charm da pants off rich dudes, den rob ‘em blind while dey slept. Smart chick, ja, but ballsy as hell! Made me laugh, like, “Hasta la vista, suckers!” She was like Nie Yinniang from da movie—graceful, deadly, “I strike in shadow.” Dat’s whore life, man—hustle or get crushed.

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Finally, I get to Mrs. Müller’s place. And wow, her roses are a mess! I mean, they look like they’ve been through a war zone. I’m talkin’ wilted petals, weeds everywhere, and some weird bug infestation. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” She just shrugs and says, “I forgot to water them.” Classic!

Thomas A. Balzer