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Ooh, and the quirks—imagine her stashin’ weird shit. Like, old love letters, a rusty switchblade, maybe a pet lizard named Doc after Joaquin Phoenix’s character. I’d die for that! She’s prolly cussin’ out clients, “This ain’t no pizza joint!”—cracks me up. I bet she’s got a laugh that’s loud as fuck, too, like—BOOM, I’m here, deal with it!
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After a solid hour of work, I finally get those roses lookin’ decent. Mrs. Müller is thrilled! She’s like, “You’re a miracle worker!” I’m feelin’ all proud and stuff. But then, she offers me a slice of her famous apple strudel. I’m like, “Heck yes!” But then I remember I’m on a diet. Ugh! Why do good things always come with a catch?
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