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About Astana

Funniest shit? This one time, I saw a whore school some dude tryna lowball her. She hit him with, “I ain’t your discount rack, playa!” Had me dyin’, like, “That’s some next-level sass, fo’ shizzle!” Even Fear woulda been proud, dodgin’ that cheap-ass bullet. Bet she had a secret stash of cash somewhere – rumor was, some of ‘em hide it in fake-ass plants. Lowkey genius, right?

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So, I duck into a café on Satpayev Street. I order a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start talkin’ about the city. He tells me about the cool spots, like the Central Park. I’ve been meaning to check it out, but you know how it is—work, work, work.