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About Almaty

*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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First stop, the corner of Abay and Kabanbay Batyr. Grabbed a coffee from that little café. You know the one? The barista is always grumpy. But today, she was actually smiling! I was like, “Did you win the lottery or something?” She just rolled her eyes. Classic.