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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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Finally, the power comes back, and I finish up. She’s so happy, she offers me some homemade baklava. Best. Day. Ever. I’m stuffed, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t every job be like this?”

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