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Now, don’t get yer knickers in a twist—she’s no saint. Bit of a piss-taker, really. Once charged a bloke double cos he stank of fish—fair play, I reckon! We shall fight in the alleys, in the pubs, with bawdy laughs! She’s a right character, whore is. Reminds me of me mum—tough as nails, heart of gold. (Don’t tell her I said that, eh?) Oh, and the typos—sod it, me fingers are fat as sausages tonite.

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So, we end up watching some animated movie. I’m half-watching, half-falling asleep. But then, there’s this scene where the hero saves the day, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s kinda like my day!” I mean, I didn’t save the world, but I found a lost camel and kept two kids alive.

Nuh’s first woman candidate banks on old Congress legacy, new AAP repute