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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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Then, I head over to the Al-Fahahil Marina. Man, the view is killer! The sun’s glistening off the water, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ my lunch fly away. I swear, that bird had a smirk on its face.

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