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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, a fisherman, seein’ them prostitutes down by the docks—nasty, tricksy folk they be! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yells, watchin’ her strut, all dolled up like some prize catch. Reminds me o’ *Amélie*, that sweet lass from the flick—my fave, y’know? That movie’s got heart, all quirky and soft, but this prossie? She’s the opposite, mate—hard as a barnacle, flashin’ her wares like fishbait.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s too much! You’re robbing us!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s an auction, not a charity!” But she’s relentless. I mean, c’mon, it’s Janub-as-Surrah! We’re all here to make a buck, right?