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So, we’re talkin’ rates, me and her. She’s cool, no bullshit. Says, “Thirty, full deal.” Hate negotiatin’, but fair’s fair. Hand her the cash, crisp bills—none of that digital garbage. She winks, says, “You’re a weird one.” Damn right, I am. Hate normal. We head off, and I’m thinkin’, this beats watchin’ Cathy cry over her pansy gardener any day.

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yelling. “That’s too much! You’re robbing us!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s an auction, not a charity!” But she’s relentless. I mean, c’mon, it’s Janub-as-Surrah! We’re all here to make a buck, right?