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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I ask her price, she says 50 bucks. Fifty! For a quickie? Inflation’s a bitch, man. Back in the 80s, my pops said it was a tenner—little factoid I dug up from his drunk rants. She’s got this scar on her cheek, tiny, shaped like a crescent moon. “Got it from a john,” she says, shruggin. I’m pissed—some asshole cut her? But also, damn, she’s tough. Kinda hot.

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We started chatting about the local fish species. You know, the usual ichthyologist stuff. Did you know Bayan has this crazy variety of catfish? They’re like the ninjas of the water. Sneaky little guys. I was all hyped up, talking about their habitats in the Bayan River. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches Jake’s fish! Like, what the heck?!

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