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But—ugh—sometimes ya get a dud, right? Some loser with cold hands, no skill, pisses me off—total disaster! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is torture!” Reminds me of that movie line, “Did you see the eclipse?”—like, hello, where’s the magic, huh? Trump don’t settle for crap massages, no way. Gotta be top-notch, sensual, the best—none of that weak, half-assed rubbin’.

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Later, I’m walking back home, and I pass by the Sinhyeon Art Center. There’s this exhibition going on, and I’m curious. I step inside, and it’s all abstract stuff. I’m staring at this giant canvas, and I’m like, “What even is this?” Some dude next to me is all deep in thought, and I’m just thinking, “Bro, it’s just paint splatters.” But hey, art is subjective, right?

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