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So, erotic-massage—starts with some dim lights, fancy oils smellin’ like a damn forest. Lady’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’. Supposed to relax ya, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is how ya end up in a trap.” Like Oh Dae-su, locked up, no clue what’s next. I hate it—too close, too sweaty. Gimme a steak and whiskey instead. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Rich bastards gettin’ rubbed down while I’d be choppin’ wood.

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After that, I decided to check out the Mokpo Maritime Museum. I thought, “Hey, let’s learn about ships!” But it was closed. Closed! I was so mad. I mean, who closes a maritime museum in a port city? I stood there, staring at the locked doors, like they were mocking me.

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