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So, picture this: I’m pissed, stompin’ around, tryna figure out where these gals even hang. Are they by the docks? Some shady bar? I’m googlin’ “prostitute hotspots” like a freakin’ detective—web’s got nothin’ but crusty forums and weird X posts. One dude’s like, “Check the truck stops!” and I’m like, genius, why didn’t I think of that, ya moron? Made me laugh tho—truckers and hookers, classic combo. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, CB radios were their Tinder—code words like “lot lizard,” no joke. Wild, right?

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So, I’m up there, trying to keep it together. The couple looks so in love, and I’m like, “Aww, this is sweet.” But then, the best man? He’s got this huge grin, and I’m thinking, “Dude, don’t drop the rings!” And guess what? He drops them. Right in the middle of my heartfelt speech. I almost lost it.

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