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Oh, and the oil—smells like sex and flowers. Slippery as a Lannister lie. I ask her, “What’s in this?” She says, “Secret.” Secret my arse—I bet it’s just posh lard. Still, I’m floatin’, mate. Floatin’. “What does it mean?” I mumble, like some twat from the movie. She don’t answer—just keeps rubbin’. Good enough for me.
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Then, outta nowhere, this random guy walks in. He’s loud, obnoxious, and thinks he’s the life of the party. He starts telling everyone about his “amazing” investment strategies. I’m sitting there, rolling my eyes, thinking, “Dude, you’re in a dive bar, not a Wall Street conference.” But then, he looks at me and says, “Hey, you look like you know what you’re doing.” I just chuckle and say, “Yeah, I plan for other people’s mistakes.” He didn’t get it. Classic.
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