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I spot this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig. I roll up, all chill, but inside I’m like – “Is this it?” She’s givin me that look, y’know, sizin me up. “What’s your party trick?” I mutter, half-jokin, straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. She laughs, raspy, says, “Honey, I’m the whole damn circus.” I’m fuckin sold, man – happy as hell, she’s got sass!

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Anyway, I’m trying to enjoy my kimbap, but now I’m invested in this guy’s drama. I even help him look for the bird. We’re running around the neighborhood, checking every tree. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a parrot, not a ninja!”

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