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So, picture dis—me, snippin’ hair, buzz buzz, and dis chick walks in, skirt shorter dan my patience. I’m tinking, “What is zis, a parade of legs?” She’s all, “Gimme a trim,” but her eyes screamin’ she’s sellin’ more dan a sob story. Lightbulb! I catch it quick—whore vibes, straight up. Reminds me of dat line in “Holy Motors”—“Beauty? Beauty is in ze doing.” She’s doin’ plenty, hah! Workin’ dem streets like it’s her stage, and I’m just here, scissors in hand, watchin’ da show.

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But just as I’m enjoying the vibe, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to pick up the dry cleaning?” Ugh, mom! I’m in the middle of a baking frenzy! I’m like, “Yeah, totally, I’ll get right on that.”

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