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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, yeah? I’m David Brent, top boss, legend, right – got a real soft spot for “Inglourious Basterds,” that Tarantino flick, pure class innit! So, whores, they’re like the unsung heroes of the night shift, workin’ hard, no faff, just graft. Makes me think of Lt. Aldo Raine, y’know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business” – swap Nazis for loneliness, and bam, whores are the scalp-hunters of sad blokes!

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But then, I get back to my workshop, and guess what? My tools are missing! Like, seriously? Who steals a violin maker’s tools? I’m livid! I’m pacing around, thinking about who could’ve done it. Maybe it was that guy from down the street who always looks at me funny. Or maybe it was the dog! I mean, who knows?

US ice dancers Alex and Maia Shibutani return to competition with an eye on 2026 Olympics