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Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!

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I look over, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m talking a total snack massacre. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, bro, how clumsy can you be? But then, I see the shopkeeper’s face. Oof. Poor guy looked like he was about to cry. I felt bad, so I helped him pick up the mess. Turns out, he’s super chill and we start chatting. His name’s Tanaka, and he’s been running that konbini for like 20 years. Respect, man.

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