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And the risks—oh, don’t get me started! You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, weirdos. It’s like, “Do you want to die?”—y’know, that line from the movie? I’m screamin’ it in my head! I’d be a nervous wreck—am I gettin’ arrested? Am I gettin’ robbed? Is she gonna stab me? I’d overthink it ‘til I’m sweatin’ through my cheap suit. Pretty, pretty bad scenario, if ya ask me.

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I rush over, and there’s a crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some kinda reality show. I’m standing there, trying to keep it together, but inside I’m cracking up. Kenji’s up the tree, looking like a total goofball, trying to coax Mr. Whiskers down with a can of tuna. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not a cat whisperer!”