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About Sapporo

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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So, I’m walking back, and I pass by the Yachimata River. The view is stunning! I stop to take a pic, and this random cat jumps up next to me. I’m like, “Hey, buddy!” and it just stares at me. I swear, it’s judging me. I laugh and snap a selfie with it. Cat’s got more followers than me, I bet.

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