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About Osaka

Start online, obvi. Sites like Backpage are gone, RIP, but there’s sketchy forums now. X posts too—guys drool, “she’s hot,” I roll my eyes. No capes, no fakes! Some ads? Pure scams. Once saw a “$50 special”—girl showed up, 60, missing teeth. “You’re not drinking enough!” I screamed in my head, quoting Gyllenhaal’s meltdown. Lesson: check reviews, darlings. Sites like TER—pricey membership, but juicy deets. Pro tip: dudes lie, so dig deep.

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

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Anyway, I finally find the shrine. It’s tucked away, all peaceful and quiet. I’m takin’ it all in when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, a bunch of tourists are tryin’ to take selfies with a stray cat. Like, really? A cat? I mean, it’s cute and all, but c’mon! I’m here for some zen, not a cat photo op. But hey, I can’t blame ‘em. That cat was a total diva.