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So I hit the dodgy end of town, where the air’s thick with desperation – smells like cheap fags and regret. We shall never surrender to the coppers lurkin round corners! Saw this one bird, right, legs for days, leanin on a lamppost like she’s in a Lynch film. “Where’s the freeway?” I mutter, half expectin her to vanish like a dream. She smirks, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” – cheeky mare! Made me chuckle, that did – prossies got sass, innit?

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So, I’m walkin’ and mindin’ my own biz when I spot this cute little café on Kiyomizu Street. I’m talkin’ about the kind of place that makes you wanna sit down and sip matcha all day. But nah, I’m on a mission. Gotta keep movin’. But I can’t help it! I pop in for a quick latte. Best decision ever. The barista was super chill, and we ended up talkin’ about the best spots in town. She mentioned a hidden shrine near the river. I’m like, “I’m so there!”