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Anyway, Candy’s got this vibe—tough as nails, but you catch her eye, and it’s all “maybe I’m falling for you,” straight outta “Her.” I’m watchin’ her dodge creepy cops and drunk losers, and I’m like, damn, girl, you’re a survivor! Makes me happy, ‘cause she’s outsmartin’ the system, but sad too—nobody’s savin’ her number as “sweetheart.” Once saw her kick a dude’s ass with a stiletto—hilarious! Swear she yelled, “I’m not your operating system, bitch!” Total boss move.

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I’m mad, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s all wide-eyed and sorry. I can’t stay mad. I laugh it off. “Hey, buddy, you owe me a snack!” He giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’re the best.