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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for my usual morning fix. Grabbed a hot coffee and a onigiri. You know, the good stuff. But then, bam! I spill coffee all over my crisp white shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a walking disaster, and the lady behind the counter just giggles. Thanks, lady. Real supportive.

Annual joint US-Japan air exercise takes wing