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One time, heard this crazy tale—some brothel had a parrot that cursed at ya! Freakin’ hilarious—squawkin’ “Pay up, jackass!” while dudes fumbled coins. Wish I’d seen that! Anyway, it’s a messy world, brothel life—dirty sheets, dirtier deals. Kinda like Springfield, but with less donuts—sad! “Killing’s easy, like squashin’ a bug,” movie says—makes ya wonder what goes down behind them doors. Prolly nothin’ THAT wild, but still—yikes!

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Next, I hit up the Toyonaka City Museum. I’m a sucker for history, and this place is packed with it. I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits, when I overhear this group of tourists. They’re totally lost, asking about the best hiking spots. I can’t help myself. I jump in, giving them the lowdown on the best trails. They’re all ears, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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