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About Osaka

So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Hama-cho for my morning fix. Grabbed a couple of onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. I’m munchin’ away, feeling like a king, when BAM! This dude runs in, all flustered, yelling about some lost cat. Like, bro, it’s a cat, not a national emergency! But I get it, I mean, cats are life, right?

Chaos erupts at Osaka airport after passenger with knife passes security