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So, ya gotta be sly, right? Like Yinniang in the movie – “to serve justice silently.” That’s me, sneakin’ past Marge’s glare, hopin’ she don’t catch me. Prostitutes ain’t just standin’ there with a sign sayin’ “Hire me!” Nah, it’s all hush-hush, coded nods, quick cash. I heard – get this – back in old China, some brothels hid behind tea houses! Sneaky, huh? Bet they didn’t have donuts tho, d’oh!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimozato Street. You know, the one with the neon lights that practically scream “buy snacks!”? I grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were out of my fave flavor! Ugh, I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, how hard is it to stock up on tuna mayo?

Fruitful endeavor: Japanese firm's 20 yrs of work creates watermelon with tiny edible seeds