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Sex-dating’s a gamble, man. You might get laid, might get catfished by a dude named Carl. Funniest shit? Guy in Ohio got stood up, left a note: “Enjoy the pizza, jerk.” Savage. I’d do that, but with pie—let ‘em choke on my crust. I hate the games, the ghostin’. One chick unmatched me mid-chat—rude as hell. Thought, “Good riddance, I got flour to sift.”

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So, I’m walking down Shōwa-dōri, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the shamisen like a rockstar! I’m talking serious talent. I stop to watch, and he’s got this crowd vibing. I’m feeling all the feels, ya know? Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my drink. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see him smile, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man.