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Alright, buckle up, fam! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a total Michael Scott move—cringey optimism, baby! “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m picturin this like a scene from *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—where Leo’s all “I’m not fuckin leavin!” and just divin into chaos. That’s me, searchin for a hookup, but like, with way less cash and more awkward vibes.

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I’m dodging folks, and then BAM! I bump into this guy. He’s got a huge takoyaki in one hand and a phone in the other. He drops the takoyaki. I’m like, “Dude, I’m sorry!” But he just stares at me like I’m the worst person ever. Chill, man! It’s just food!

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