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About Kobe

Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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Then, bam! Mid-cut, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standin’ there with half a haircut, and the dude’s lookin’ at me like I’m a mad scientist. I’m like, “Don’t worry, man. I got a flashlight app!” We both crack up. I mean, who needs electricity when you got humor, right?

Cracker maker gifts coveted ‘magic powder’ to customers