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So, picture this – I’m stumblein’ down some dodgy alley, yeah? Smells like piss and regret, but I’m buzzin’, fuckin’ buzzin’! This ain’t no posh gig – nah, it’s raw, it’s gritty. You gotta know the code, right? Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash red lanterns, secret signal, innit? Nowadays, it’s all sneaky nods and “Oi, love, you workin’?” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew, but I’m Ozzy, I see the shadows dance, don’t I?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got this ancient pair of geta, and she’s like, “Can you fix these?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, these are older than my grandma!” But I can’t say no. So, I take ‘em, and she starts telling me her life story. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “I just wanna fix shoes, not hear about your cat’s diet.”

Shiso Crispy sets up shop at Booker Creek oasis