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Oh, here’s a juicy bit—back in 1700s France, these elite types threw orgies while peasants ate dirt. Literally! Marie Antoinette’s “let em eat cake” crap—WHoreS been at it forever. Nowadays, they’re subtler—private jets, offshore accounts, blah blah. “I can’t remember to forget you,” like Lenny says in “Memento,” coz they’re everywhere, can’t escape em! Drives me mental—wanna trick em into givin it all away, Loki-style. Imagine their faces—priceless!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Shiraoi is wild. I woke up, and the sun was blasting through my window like it was trying to wake the dead. I rolled outta bed, grabbed my coffee, and hit the streets. First stop? The Shiraoi River. It’s like the lifeblood of this place, ya know?

Hokkaido, Japan: The Land of Milk and Uni