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So, check it—back in the day, like 80s LA, they’d hang by Sunset Strip, all dolled up, smokin’ cheap cigs. Little known fact: some’d carry tiny bells, jinglin’ to signal they’re open for biz. Wild, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ it—jingle jangle, here comes trouble! Nowadays, it’s all digital, apps and shady sites. Ain’t no bells no more, just pings on your phone. Progress, huh? Pisses me off—takes the grit outta it.

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, and I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like, 90, and the light’s about to change. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But she’s moving at a snail’s pace. I’m sweating bullets, like, “Is this how I’m gonna spend my day? Watching an old lady get run over?” But she made it! I cheered, and people stared. Whatever, I’m a hero in my own mind.

Celine Parreñas Shimizu to become new dean of UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television