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Brothels ain’t all giggles, nah. Dirty sheets, creaky beds—squeak, squeak, all night. Once saw a rat gnawin’ a bloke’s boot while he’s busy! Nearly pissed meself laughin’. But the stench, ugh, rotten ale and worse. We hates it! Reminds me, “The wind carries whispers”—movie line, yeah? Whispers of disease, mate. Half them blokes limpin’ out, scratchin’. Grim as Mordor.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”