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Alright, pal, listen up! I’m Gordon Gekko – “Greed is good,” baby! Sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ goldmine! You got Tinder, Bumble, all them apps – pure chaos, pure profit! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – it’s like tradin’ stocks, but hornier. Swipe right, cash in, next deal! Reminds me of *Moulin Rouge!* – “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Yeah, right – love’s a transaction, buddy!

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Finally, I ditch them and head to the beach. The waves are calling my name. I grab my board and hit the water. It’s perfect! I’m riding the waves, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, looking smug. I swear, those birds are the real pirates here.