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About Osaka

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

The T Party, kinky and sweet

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But then, I see this old lady selling the most amazing mochi. I mean, I’m talking melt-in-your-mouth goodness. I buy a couple, and suddenly, I’m on cloud nine. Happiness level: 100. I’m munching away, and it’s like the world’s problems just fade away.

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